Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
