Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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