I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
