Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize