So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
