My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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