you have to choose: penises or morals?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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