If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Randomize
