he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize