So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
