I just made out with a guy for $7.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
