She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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