bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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