I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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