Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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