I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize