what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
