I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize