so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
