i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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