That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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