great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
