Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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