I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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