I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
