Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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