All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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