Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
