I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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