so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
