Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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