Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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