And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
