Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize