U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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