He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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