Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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