Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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