it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
