You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
