I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
