Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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