Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
