he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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