I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
