My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
