I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
