Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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