did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
