talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
