if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pants are for mortals
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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