We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
