oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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