I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize