All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
