if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
