I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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