Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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