My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
