You work out of a Hotel?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
