It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
