I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
