lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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