So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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